I Know The Author

"Unspoken conscious choices and contemplation of Laezee."

            

We were meant to live two lives: first, the life we live to learn, and second, the life we live after that. So, which life are you living now?

Life is a solo flight, it is what independent people used to say in common. But when I talked and observed the most alive people, they always say, "Life is meant to be shared." I thought I was living my life right but I was wrong, I was living according to what the world dictates me and not how I was meant to be.

We were meant to find connection, the reason why we are always in search of that "someone" and be together. Even if the most independent person would say they don't need anyone, but at the back of their minds they're hoping to be found by someone. Because we were all connected, disconnected by what we thought how life is, and now longing to be reconnected.

Minding too much the life I wanted to live, blinding my eyes with the fake beauty I thought life should be. It was the moment when I saw myself going with the flow of stress, anxiety, worries, fears and depression; life was no fun at all. I got lost, lost in the crowd of mindless people, walking and becoming one of them. I know it is not right, my soul speaks through conscience that it is not life.

I learned to observe in silence, playing dumb but smart when I talked to people. I thought every thought, weaving every detail in my soul. Witnessing everything around, keeping unspoken notes. My soul is awake, that is what keeps me different from all.

Life is a journey of experience. I witnessed myself resisting to the adverse reaction of pain and it caused me more pain. But when I mustered the courage to face and feel every pinch of it, I learned pain is meant to be felt and not be resisted by lying to myself that I was not breaking.

Everyone is talking how dreading and agonizing breaking is, but none had spoken loudly that breaking is where light comes in. We always tend to focus on one side, why not try looking at the other side?

We live in duality: up and down, dark and light, happy and sad, wounded and healed. That is life. And it is entirely up to us which side we choose to live. And conscious choice comes in. I vow to keep choosing what my soul speaks for me, that's the time I learned not to resist but to live.

My human nature always slaps me with hate, fear, doubts, and insecurities. It keeps my mind from repeating the memories I cannot dare to look back. The reason why I started equipping myself with the valuable mantras that only my soul understands. I always have this conscious self-talk which I weigh on what I should follow.

Memories where meant to be looked back but not to live at. We look back to see how far we have come, we look back to see how strong we have become. And memories are not there to remain as shadows of the past, but they were retained as evidence of growth in every decision we chose.

I learned turning pain into an art, I started writing words that added color to the colors of black and white. I thought writers were born to keep the brokenness alive, but they were born to turn heartbreaks to undying passion of living in art.

It was when greatest masterpiece came to life, it is a reflection of the mastermind's life, leaving legacy for everyone to be inspired. Fueling our soul to burn, burn for passion in living and not passion for boasting.

Life is a battle between ego and divinity. Ego speaks what we thought and feel good for us; divinity is what really meant for us. Ego will tell us everything for us to follow; divinity exposes us to everything that our soul needs to follow. Ego is the enemy of our soul; divinity is our soul's one true nature.

My ego usually speaks to me through my mind, my soul speaks to me through conscience and undeniable signs. I know if it is my ego who speaks for me, for it creates turmoil inside of me. The soul speaks for the realest truth, irritating but not disturbing.

As this present chapter is about to close, I still have so many unspoken contemplation that drives the course of my life as a whole. I really wanted to share them all, however, I need more time to compose it all. Maybe it’ll be the content of my upcoming words. 

 And tomorrow, is the beginning of a new chapter, I trust what is coming because I know the author of my story.

May everyone be living their second life as time waits for no one. Have a life that you deserve while you still have much time. Happy New Year everyone!

                                                                                        - Laezee