Too Tired

It's almost four years since I chose a man;

Friends to lovers, I thought he was my last.

I can still recall how my smile would show,

The glow I felt inside whenever he messages me all day long.

But, what I realized after those years,

I only felt included but not the real thing.

The real thing of how true love is felt;

Despite distance, but truly a heartfelt.

Days went by and I learned to open up again,

"How are you?" has been the question I always get.

It was fun to talk to a lot of people at the same time,

But equally draining because all of them are only for a meantime.

I cannot deny I'm hoping for someone I can consistently talk,

Someone I can message anytime and won't mind to be disturbed,

Someone who is excited as me to know how our day went,

Someone who reciprocates my love, sweetness and care I gave for the day.

But, I guess people nowadays are just checking what's out there,

Messaging you only when it's convenient for them.

Disappears whenever they wanted and reappears just to keep you hooked,

The reason why it's too risky at the same time to remain open and true.

I cannot deny how much energy I always give,

For me to be protected and to always choose to leave.

As much as I wanted to remain courteous,

But spending too much energy is so luxurious.

I even thought of ghosting some people just to save me,

But my conscience is too clear to do the same what others did to me.

That's why I'm here again writing with some high hopes,

The only way for me to be saved from this crooked dating world.

I know somebody out there is searching for me,

I know somebody is out there who will do everything to put on one knee.

But, where are you? Can you please move a little bit fast?

'Coz I'm too tired of talking about the same stuffs.

-Laezee